Knocking and saying "hey, its the Police" can get you into pretty much any home.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
If you're gonna be the Vice President you have to be a D-Bag.
Some metallic dildos can also function as nerve inhibiting paralyzers.
Jon Voight hates America
hospital schematics are readily available from any computer in the hospital.
It takes literally 6 seconds to download the blueprints, skematics, and patient information from a computer, yet it takes me 15 minutes to figure out driving directions on MapQuest.
The best advice you'll ever hear in your life comes courtesy of Agent Walker - Stay out of Jack's way
Under no circumstances, I repeat, NO CIRCUMSTANCES- do you try to rescue the President of the United States when he/she is a hostage.
When engineering the Emergency Room for the President of the United States, make sure you have easy access to highly flammable and/or explosive gas. Just in case you need to blow it up.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Bill Buchanan is a GANGSTA.
Juma slapping President Taylor was a clear analogy to Obama slapping Hillary in the election. booya.s
Jack Bauer can short the lock to the room just enough to prevent anyone from getting in, but not enough to prevent him from getting out.
The president is kind of a psycho-looking bitch.
It doesn't take much to get the secret service to leave. "we have the president." "oh ok then. wellp, see ya!"
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
There are no telephones in most of the rooms in the White House. Morse code is your best bet.
No one in the government uses Windows as an operating system. It's all from Star Trek.
Pretty much everyone in the entire DC metro area has FBI Director Larry Moss on speed dial. Even park rangers and traffic cops. Ya know...just in case.
SCREAMING AT PEOPLE IS ALWAYS THE BEST WAY TO GET YOUR POINT ACROSS!!!!
(re-read in Jack Bauer yelling voice for maximum effect)
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
When you recover a chip from underneath a man's skin that contains a list of conspirators, it's okay to give it to a random FBI agent when the FBI has been implicated in the conspiracy."
- courtesy of Mikediggity
There is NEVER enough time.
All asians in 24 have non -asian names.
The ranger who got shot? Thompson.
Season 2 asian CTU guy? Tom Baker.
CMON ITS JIN from LOST.
The White House's lock down room has absolutely no way of contacting the outside world.
You can induce a heart attack in anybody with a simple injection of milk.
Every hospital in America takes detailed photos of the parking lot, specifically license plates. Yet, there are no security cameras in the President's Emergency Room.
Note to self: an artist's sketch of the front door is just as good, if not better, than blueprints.
A power cord from a lamp is an incredibly useful tool. It can be used for interrogation, shorting out electrics, & anything else you need.
Morse code?? That was really the best option at that point??
Background checks aren't required if you work at the White House.
The White House is filled with a bizarre type of pressurized air, so if you bleed, it dries immediately.
To destroy a brick wall, all you really have to do is give it a little kick.
When the United States is hunting you down, Washington D.C. is the perfect hideout
The person who built the FBI's computers also built the matrix
It is in African people's DNA to shoot and miss white females, but are excellent shots when targeting Park Rangers
The Secret Service are a bunch of pussies.
When the White House is broken into, all the Marines that were escorting people have been replaced by middle aged secret service men with Pistols
The President wears a Livestrong bracelet that serves as a tracker
African Mercinaries are incredible with touch screen computers.
You can completely incapacitate a Marine with a swift jab to the stomach
It's incredibly easy to break into the White House
The White House sits over a body of water easily accessible by boat + scuba gear
